laughter

Geezer jokes abound. One of the ways to deal with so-called losses is to laugh about them. Inability to remember why one came into a room, the obvious pull of gravity on one's flesh, one's changing sex life, the lack of bodily response to muscular commands are all a potential focus of laughter.

A Navajo friend grew up in the high plateaus of the Navajo Nation with no electricity and no light at night other than the stars and moon. Both imagined and real things to be feared roamed in the dark. These monsters needed disempowerment. So every night they would go outside in the dark and laugh. Even a molecule of laughter inside a monster renders it impotent, he said.

So laugh, you geezers, laugh! The monsters of sickness and loss, of grief at the loss of one's friends and companions, of ancient regrets, of fears of the dying process have no power when the heart is radiant with laughter.

Laughter is a solution, a soluble, a solvent. Laughter is solvation.

From my friend Joe Night -- Thanks Joe! I'm still laughing!

This  is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to  all of you who know seniors, and to all of you  who will become seniors.

 "WHERE is my  SUNDAY paper?!"

The  irate  customer calling the  newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where  her Sunday edition was.

 "Madam",  said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday.  The Sunday paper is not delivered until  tomorrow, on  SUNDAY".

There  was quite a long pause on the other end of the  phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she  was heard to mutter, ..

 ..."Well,  shit, that explains why no one was at church  either.

the blind leading the deaf

Approached a geezelle downtown, a pleasant looking woman dressed in Flagstaff attire, who doesn't see well if at all and moves around with the aid of a white cane (I had seen her around but never spoken) and said good morning. "Good morning," she said. "A very pleasant day" I said. "- - - - - -," she said. "What?" I asked. "GLAD THAT WIND HAS SLOWED DOWN!" she said pleasantly and loudly, evidently picking up that I am somewhat hard of hearing. I agreed and moved on with a blessing upon her day. How good it is that we take each other's peculiarities and shortcomings into account! Patience with each other is a strong and welcome virtue.

listening mindfully to a mindfulness missionary

My end of the conversation: "Yes ma'am, I understand all that zhit. Live in the present, Be here now. Love your nay-ber. Center and open. I am the universe. Yes ma'am. I got it. And I'm walking around taking photos. What's that? I can be fully present while taking my photos? Yes ma'am. I know. And right now I'm being fully present while listening to you telling me to be fully present. Okay. Take care of yourself. Bye. What's that? Nope. Don't need no hug today. Bye. Blessings to you too."

injury: the jury is in

The old saw has it that "If I'd known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself." While that is semi-amusing, I doubt its truth.

As I age, I believe more and more that the conscious part of ourselves is like a passenger atop a large bottle rocket composed of our felt, but unconscious, energies of karmic or genetic disposition. We ride this sucker out with choice points along the way that allow for quick steerage. "This way or that way?" "That way!" And off we go hurtling along on our unique and wild voyage, a surging of energies that we are, yet do not fully comprehend.

For example, I chose to spar with a guy who did not know what to do when I leaped into the air with a double jump-kick aimed at his face. I did not know he did not know. Instead of stepping back (the right move), he just stood there. Rather than kicking him in the face, I pulled the kick and dropped down to the thick and too cushiony mats recently installed. My landing foot caught in the mat thickness as my body dropped to the left. Crack! A broken ankle.

As a geezer in my 70's, the ankle bothers me.Yet it helps me know who I am. I am vulnerable. I will do my best to not harm another human. When injured, strong will kicks in and I move through life as if I have no injury. I can laugh at myself. Plus I learned that crutches are an excellent training device for balance and for strengthening of the upper torso.

I am thankful for all my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual injuries. They have healed fairly well and each taught a valuable lesson.

report from the geezer research world

This study examines the feasibility of providing Internet and electronic mail access to older adults in a retirement community and the extent to which this improves psychosocial well-being. In contrast to members of a comparison group, a trend toward decreased loneliness was observed among participants. In addition, the number of computer-related problems decreased and use of the applications increased throughout the study. Surfing the Net in Later Life: A Review of the Literature and Pilot Study of Computer Use and Quality of Life Journal of Applied Gerontology September 1999 18: 358-378.

Translation: Researchers helped helpless old people create an addiction. Now, like rats pressing bars to get opiates delivered to their brains, the old folk sit around with their computers scrolling facebook. Nursing staff complain the geezers get surly when it's Depends change time and they have to pry their grip from their mouses. The finding that loneliness is decreased is lauded by the researchers but who has time for feeling lonely when you are keeping up with the shenanigans of 482 facebook friends? One's brain is in some kind of hypnagogic state and out of touch with physical reality. One doesn't even know that one is an old fart in deterioration and moving toward death. Hmmm . . . might be better than all those drugs.

change 2

In the post prior to this on change, I waxed indignant. That can be and is part of being a geezer, but it is of little avail.

On a more positive note, I appreciate the transformation of geezerdom. My chakra level continues moving upward (thank goodness I'm past being pulled around by my genitalia!) toward the crown chakra. Mister Jesus said to lay up your treasures in heaven and I figure that is some of what he meant: move on up and reside in the heavenly area beyond the intellect head.

I find myself living more and more in the realm of energy, of spirit, of the Tao, of life flow. Life is slower, easier, yet more vibrant and alive. I talk the language of the trees, the mountain, the birds. Flowers smile and say hello. Life is soul.

I used to teach a class on healing. Since I enjoy acronyms, I made this one up for the class. C.H.A.N.G.E. can be either Continuous Hassle Amidst Newly Generating Energy or Continuous Healing Amidst Newly Generating Energy. I prefer the latter.

change

Went up Cedar, which used to be a 2-laner and is now a by-god 4 lanes so wide a geezer has to run for his life to jaywalk the mother, and saw the steel framing of large buildings emerging on the skyline of McMillan Mesa. More human encroachment. Change!

I don't seem to mind natural change -- the aging of the body, the decomposition of vegetables in the refrigerator death drawer. It's the steady imposition of humans on the scape that troubles me. Developer: devel-loper: devil loper.

I do not believe that humans are the crowning species. We exist only at the mercy of and in right relationship with all other life. We must be careful how we devil lope.

names

I often know people's souls but not their names. I know their inner being, their heart, their personality but the label given them at birth or appended later escapes me. My former tactic was to mentally run through the alphabet in hopes their name would appear if I knew the first letter. Now I just let it go. Our relationship of the moment blooms and prospers -- no name needed. That is all that matters.

Once I forgot my own name. (I consider that a sign of enlightenment, not of dementia.) In a group setting, a person I had not met before said they were so-and-so. I said, "I'm __________ ." I could not remember my label! Probably only a few nanoseconds went by, but my mind was racing to remember and it seemed like forever. I thought of checking my wallet for my i.d., but then something kicked in and I said, "George."

So the next time I smile and look at you with great love, I may not be able to present you with your title. I beg your pardon. I have already pardoned myself.

"back in my day"

One of the tendencies of geezerhood is to "remember when". For instance, some younger person might say "it cost me $82 to fill my car with gas this morning." A true geezer will automatically respond with "I remember when gas was 12 cents a gallon." (Hmmm . . . when did they remove the cent sign from the keyboard?) Or in similar situations, when bread was 18 cents a loaf, a house with lot was $14,000, and a movie was 10 cents.

The younger person, if raised properly (are people "raised" any more?) will listen politely without comment, but inside they are probably thinking: "That was then; this is now." Never mind that when they are Geezers, they'll be saying to the younger folk: "I remember when gas was $4 a gallon" or, more hopefully, "I remember when vehicles were powered by fossil fuel."

They say the mind can be trained like a puppy. I find that to be true. This old dawg keeps training his mind pup to live in the creative splendor of Now. My day is not back there. This day is my day!

geezer

It all started when folk started holding doors open for me and when cars stopped so I could cross the street. I began to realize that these helpful individuals were looking at my external and making assumptions about my internal. Or perhaps they were following their upbringing: respect your elders. In either case I had fallen into a category new to me: geezer.

The word itself came when a man so exasperated with me that he had used every epithet in his damnation vocabulary, paused for a moment sputtering, then came out with his crowning damnation: "You, you, you ... GEEZER!"

I accept the title. It has its roots in "guiser" -- one in disguise, who is not as he appears. I identify with my spirit -- not my carcass. After all, as Seung Sahn used to say, you don't want to keep centering in your body when it is a corpse. (Somehow I find that delightfully funny.)