Proponents of the theory that social engagement is essential for the well-being of the elderly, and the request and requirement that elders do so, seem to take the view that living in human form is the most desirable of all desirables: life in human form at any cost.
As one ages, one can see that this is not the case. The bravado of I will "not go gentle into that good night," that I will "rage, rage against the dying of the light" is seen as so much middle-aged rant (Dylan Thomas was 37 when he wrote that).
At some point, one wishes to let go. Like a stone skipping across water, one does not want others, no matter how well meaning, putting a drag on one's skip. Social disengagement is essential.
I think we hold onto others for both selfish and misguided reasons. We want them to stay around in bodily form because of the pain that will come when they leave. And because we misguidedly think that bodily form is the highest of all possible forms. Maybe we could use a little disengagement ourselves.
hmmm.
ReplyDeletesometimes i hold on b/c i see the possibility of future contributions to peace and light.
then, again, i'm not in charge of the universe. who am i to suggest what one's contribution might be.
or maybe that contribution might be made from behind the veil.
or maybe. . . i should just get back to work.
b.
Hey, George. Nice post. I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteGeorge,
ReplyDeleteI see this also holding for the 'subtle body' of mind/thoughts by which we know others and ourselves.
--Gary
Hi George, and thank you for the refresher.
ReplyDeleteThese are the types of thoughts that have kept me sane since my Mother died last week.
There's a huge external pressure to make me feel more sorrow than I feel. My mother closed out her relationship with me and I with her. There's no need for further comment.
In this situation, hell, for sure, has been other, well-intending people.
I am practicing civility that I don't really feel. I hope I don't get too good at it.
JN
I think our lifelong companion, Fear, plays a big role here. Fear of death lurks and guides us much of our lives. Then as we "get old," that fear can lessen in the face of the inevitable and geezers can then become more spiritually sound and prepared to die. (This can happen at much earlier ages for the so-called 'enlightened' folks.) Meanwhile, the surrounding people still have their fear, still believe the geezer shares it, and try like hell to delay the inevitable transformation both for the geezer and themselves, as you say, because of their own selfishness and fear of living without the geezer. Now if I could just distill this down into a clever maxim, I'd be all set.
ReplyDeleteSo, when is the funeral?
ReplyDelete